யாழ்பாடினி

 

Sometimes, academia makes you feel like a loser. The toxic academic culture makes you doubt your self-worthiness and the value of your intellectual contribution to society. I encountered several rejections last year concerning research grant applications, PhD scholarship applications, job applications and my first solo academic journal paper. There was so much negativity around me. I was mentally tired and ready to give up on my research career. This poem was written at the beginning of a long healing process. Know your self-worth. I look at my inbox Like a deminor Ready for the damage control Emails don’t excite me These days They disappoint me I come prepared to be disappointed I open the email Like unwrapping a box A bomb in it Knowing it would explode in my face Once opened Anyway Rebelliousness comes with price I read the impersonal message The standard response My time, effort and resources Not appreciated Not even acknowledged This time My heart doesn’t even flinch I came prepar